[::..Stress..::]
Stress seems to be the word on every one's lips every single day. I had a very stressful week, and it was a real test of my patience. With Ramadan, I thought I would be more subdued, more patient, but that wasn't the case this week.
On Thursday, I lost my temper as I had been working very long hours this week. At work, I just couldn't take it anymore. Patient on table, off table, on table, of table, they can't decide. I followed on, but when it came to the point that I had to do wonders in order to get the case started, they said, patient to be off the table. So, I told the patient nicely that I will see him later when the staff has sorted some problems, and I walked calmly to the door, after I was out of sight from the patient, I huffed: "I can't take this anymore!" And walked out and due to my outburst, the door slammed shut. So, I sat in my boss' office, checked my emails and came back 5 mins later only to look at people smiling at me and I heard the trailing end of: ".....she was extremely upset and left." I knew they were talking about me. But evidently, they found my outburst funny and started laughing. My doctor tried to speak to me, but I waved my hands and walked away. He called me back and explained that the big people screw up his list and he is just as frustrated. So I told him, whatever it is, we shouldn't be the ones having to pay for it. But we later made up when I apologised and he said he wasn't angry at me at all. So, everything was sweet again.
My colleagues found it funny I was angry coz all this while, I was quite quiet, meek and allowed people to walk all over me. Many times, I allow people or staff to say whatever they want, do whatever they want. But not Thursday. One, I was fasting, two I was hungry, three I was lack of sleep, four we were going to waste a perfectly good but very expansive equipment had we cancelled the patient as it was single use only. So, now you understand why I went all Incredible Hulk at work. That was one of the days when my bark is worst than my bite. But at home I reflected upon my behaviour. I was quite ashamed of myself for losing it. Anger, many times spoils relationship, not this time, but one day it will. I remembered that I was a very angry person throughout my life, and it just got better recently. And I certainly do not want to trod that path again. Not after I learnt how to control my temper in my Tasawuff class. But I did the right thing of just walking away rather than stay and start an argument with people. This way, I shut myself up and not say anything that would have damaged me.
Then, Friday came, again they pissed about with the list of patients. Some people when they get together, they are blonder than Barbie. Almost lost it again, but control, control. My colleague came to me and said, "Farah, you can't be horrible, you are fasting and you have to be all nice and sweet!" She said that coz I told her, "I feel like slapping his face!" I was joking but I meant it, not meant to do it, but just meant to say it!! Anyway, I laughed at her and said she is such a tough cookie to work with me. I told her, when Ramadan is over, I will be nice all over again. Just like before. And Special K diet, doesn't work. So, throw it down the toilet people.
Farah
"Love is a many splendid thing."
On Thursday, I lost my temper as I had been working very long hours this week. At work, I just couldn't take it anymore. Patient on table, off table, on table, of table, they can't decide. I followed on, but when it came to the point that I had to do wonders in order to get the case started, they said, patient to be off the table. So, I told the patient nicely that I will see him later when the staff has sorted some problems, and I walked calmly to the door, after I was out of sight from the patient, I huffed: "I can't take this anymore!" And walked out and due to my outburst, the door slammed shut. So, I sat in my boss' office, checked my emails and came back 5 mins later only to look at people smiling at me and I heard the trailing end of: ".....she was extremely upset and left." I knew they were talking about me. But evidently, they found my outburst funny and started laughing. My doctor tried to speak to me, but I waved my hands and walked away. He called me back and explained that the big people screw up his list and he is just as frustrated. So I told him, whatever it is, we shouldn't be the ones having to pay for it. But we later made up when I apologised and he said he wasn't angry at me at all. So, everything was sweet again.
My colleagues found it funny I was angry coz all this while, I was quite quiet, meek and allowed people to walk all over me. Many times, I allow people or staff to say whatever they want, do whatever they want. But not Thursday. One, I was fasting, two I was hungry, three I was lack of sleep, four we were going to waste a perfectly good but very expansive equipment had we cancelled the patient as it was single use only. So, now you understand why I went all Incredible Hulk at work. That was one of the days when my bark is worst than my bite. But at home I reflected upon my behaviour. I was quite ashamed of myself for losing it. Anger, many times spoils relationship, not this time, but one day it will. I remembered that I was a very angry person throughout my life, and it just got better recently. And I certainly do not want to trod that path again. Not after I learnt how to control my temper in my Tasawuff class. But I did the right thing of just walking away rather than stay and start an argument with people. This way, I shut myself up and not say anything that would have damaged me.
Then, Friday came, again they pissed about with the list of patients. Some people when they get together, they are blonder than Barbie. Almost lost it again, but control, control. My colleague came to me and said, "Farah, you can't be horrible, you are fasting and you have to be all nice and sweet!" She said that coz I told her, "I feel like slapping his face!" I was joking but I meant it, not meant to do it, but just meant to say it!! Anyway, I laughed at her and said she is such a tough cookie to work with me. I told her, when Ramadan is over, I will be nice all over again. Just like before. And Special K diet, doesn't work. So, throw it down the toilet people.
Farah
"Love is a many splendid thing."