[::..For better or for worse....Till death do us part-not!..::]
I have been busy everyone. Busy keeping me busy. It is getting a bit boring here in London recently. And I have become so highly strung, i just need to be entertained all the time. It is getting out of hand! :)
For better or for worse, life is never as bad as it seems. For that moment in time, you might feel like your world is going to crumble, you just wanna close your eyes and not wake up to reality. The days ahead seem so bleak, every single morning you think you are better off dead, you want to jump into the pool and just sink to the bottom. You get all teary eyed, your soul crushed into a million pieces. You turn right, and left, and all you want is for the very thing that made you feel this way. You want things to be better, you want things the way as it is. But you know what, sometimes it just ain't gonna happen.
One big lesson I learnt in the past three weeks. Having your family in another continent is a real bitch. You have to face everything yourself. Coming home to an empty home is the last thing you really want. All you want to do is work, work and work. Or go out with your friends whilst praying that your pathetic sadness is not going to rub on them. But be afraid not, your friends are there to support you. So, never forget them. Your family is there with a shoulder to cry on, so never desert them.
I have thought of many things while i was in a state of such. I thought of my dear grandmother and how she felt the very moment she lost her soul mate-her husband. How did she face it all. I can imagine her sadness, her loss, the way she feels at that time. Tears welled into my eyes thinking of her. My loss is not that bad. Wake up girl, life is ahead of you. Wake up woman, it is not the end of the world. Easier said then done. I turned to one thing, and one thing only. And it works....
I decided that this time, i am not going to pack my bags and run. I decided that this time, I am going to face it all on my own. I am going to cry on my own. And i did. It is cathartic. I tried to purge my feelings by bringing it to consciousness rather than pushing it to one side and trying to deal with it later. I turned to one and one alone. And He was the one that helped me through it this time. Every single day i read to Him and asked of Him to sort out my affairs and not leave me to myself even for the blink of an eye. I must tell everyone, this method is the best. Better than hitting the bottle, the clubs or the pills.
I also threw a lot of my energy in the gym. I might as well camp in there. I go to the gym 4 times a week. Every alternate days I get a rest day. I work on different parts of my body on different days. There is something about just running for your life on the treadmill, or rowing on the rowing machine or just being clumsy on the cross trainer and breaking out into a sweat. The release of good happy hormones is just enriching. I enjoy the effort of pulling and carrying weights. Of course the next day I will suffer having stiff muscles. But seeing a difference makes me feel so amazing. A word of warning to everyone-it is addictive. On my rest day, I feel so sluggish. I just wanna go back to the gym. But i know, my body needs rest.
Right now, I need everyone to pray that i will be called to a really good place....soon....
This is Farah
"My Lord! I am in absolute need of the good You send me."
For better or for worse, life is never as bad as it seems. For that moment in time, you might feel like your world is going to crumble, you just wanna close your eyes and not wake up to reality. The days ahead seem so bleak, every single morning you think you are better off dead, you want to jump into the pool and just sink to the bottom. You get all teary eyed, your soul crushed into a million pieces. You turn right, and left, and all you want is for the very thing that made you feel this way. You want things to be better, you want things the way as it is. But you know what, sometimes it just ain't gonna happen.
One big lesson I learnt in the past three weeks. Having your family in another continent is a real bitch. You have to face everything yourself. Coming home to an empty home is the last thing you really want. All you want to do is work, work and work. Or go out with your friends whilst praying that your pathetic sadness is not going to rub on them. But be afraid not, your friends are there to support you. So, never forget them. Your family is there with a shoulder to cry on, so never desert them.
I have thought of many things while i was in a state of such. I thought of my dear grandmother and how she felt the very moment she lost her soul mate-her husband. How did she face it all. I can imagine her sadness, her loss, the way she feels at that time. Tears welled into my eyes thinking of her. My loss is not that bad. Wake up girl, life is ahead of you. Wake up woman, it is not the end of the world. Easier said then done. I turned to one thing, and one thing only. And it works....
I decided that this time, i am not going to pack my bags and run. I decided that this time, I am going to face it all on my own. I am going to cry on my own. And i did. It is cathartic. I tried to purge my feelings by bringing it to consciousness rather than pushing it to one side and trying to deal with it later. I turned to one and one alone. And He was the one that helped me through it this time. Every single day i read to Him and asked of Him to sort out my affairs and not leave me to myself even for the blink of an eye. I must tell everyone, this method is the best. Better than hitting the bottle, the clubs or the pills.
I also threw a lot of my energy in the gym. I might as well camp in there. I go to the gym 4 times a week. Every alternate days I get a rest day. I work on different parts of my body on different days. There is something about just running for your life on the treadmill, or rowing on the rowing machine or just being clumsy on the cross trainer and breaking out into a sweat. The release of good happy hormones is just enriching. I enjoy the effort of pulling and carrying weights. Of course the next day I will suffer having stiff muscles. But seeing a difference makes me feel so amazing. A word of warning to everyone-it is addictive. On my rest day, I feel so sluggish. I just wanna go back to the gym. But i know, my body needs rest.
Right now, I need everyone to pray that i will be called to a really good place....soon....
This is Farah
"My Lord! I am in absolute need of the good You send me."