//......Sticks and Stones May Break My Bones, but Your Words, they Break My Soul......\\

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Entries of this blog are mood dependent. I will write as I please.

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Flightless Bird, American Mouth - Iron & Wine

Friday, January 16, 2009

[::..Swooning all month!..::]

For the past few weeks or so, I have been doing one thing. One thing only. I have been so obsessed by the Twilight mania. Initially, I watched the movie once, then I thought..."wow" so, I watched it again. Then I moved on to do numerous Internet searches for everything Twilight. Then I went to buy the book one cold New Years morning. Then I went on to tell my colleagues about it. And they thought I was crazy! It was...for god's sake a TEENAGE VAMPIRE MOVIE! But hang on a second, it is not really just for teenagers. It is for Young Adults. Hmmm...I'm not sure if I fit in that category either! But what the heck. I bought all 4 books in the series. Read each one in an average of 1 day. The last book was quite thick, so it took about one and a half days. Then I decided......to watch the movie for the 3rd time! Then I bought the soundtrack-which was amazing! And....yelp-I read the first book again!

I found myself asking, why am I so excited over this fiction? And I realised, while reading the first book Twilight, Bella reminded me so much of myself. And how I felt about him. My him. How I was careful about my every move, every word i say, every thing I did, the way my face looked, the way I looked, the way I dressed. Because, he was observing everything. And he was extremely sensitive. Always trying his very best to conform to Islamic standards of boy-girl interaction. Though he is not a teenage vampire, nor I am a teenage human vampire lover, he was my Edward. Only it never had a happy ending. I can safely say, my ending was like the Volturies intercepting our relationship and killing it at that instant.

By this time, another of my colleague had fallen victim to the Vampire fantasy. And she dreamily declared one morning at work-"I want to be a teenage Vampire!" And I mocked at her and jokingly retorted, "I want to be a teenage Vampire LOVER!" And we both laughed our silly heads off. Then I found out, I wasn't the only one with this strange habit of rushing to the bookstore, reading the books at one go, never putting it down, surfing the net for everything Twilight, and reading every Twilight outtakes there ever existed. I told my equally obsessed colleague-"The whole world seem to be doing the same thing!"

I must say, the writing kinda suck. But the storyline-solid as a diamond. It is gold! Stephanie Meyer-Thank You for including me...us in that little Vampire story of yours. The ride has been thrilling and exhilarating. I vote for Midnight Sun to be at the shelves by end of this year!

I asked myself, if I was Bella, would I give up the chance to go to heaven and everything i believe in to be with the man of my dreams in eternity and be condemn to eternal hell should I ever die? My answer was set in stone-NO! I would never do that to my soul. Isn't that what living is about? Striving and fighting for a place in Heaven? To love God and be loved by God much more? Yeah, the man factor is tempting, especially if he is so hot. But, I would not do that thing where I give up a moment of happiness for a lifetime of pain.

I submitted my recitation today. I put so much pressure on myself. I calm me down by saying what will be, will be. Nothing will change. But it doesn't mean I recited once and submit. I strive, and tried until I told myself, that's it. And I submitted. Whatever the result it, I will be happy. Whether it is express, or normal, I will get there one day if God wills.

Vesper

"Beware of destroying what you built, dispersing what you gathered, eliminating what you gained, regressing after guidance and deteriorating after refining."

flamingbikini - 11:03 PM

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