//......Sticks and Stones May Break My Bones, but Your Words, they Break My Soul......\\

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Flightless Bird, American Mouth - Iron & Wine

Sunday, March 8, 2009

[::..What a wonderful Sunday..::]

Has anyone thought about Time? How short it actually is? I am at 30yr old working professional, working mostly long hours. During my free time, I attend two Sunnipath classes, go for tea/dinner with my friends and go to the gym.

I attended Ustazah Summayya's Tajweed class today. I have always been very shy about my reading of the Quran. I think it sucks. Big time. I am one of those people with classic pronounciation problems. And the worst part is, that is not my ONLY problem. My other problems are stumbling over my recitation, reading things that's not there, or jumbling the letter with the next, halting too long as I need to think which alphabet it is, and extremely slow reading. It's pathetic. But I thought, I have to do something about it. So, I read to Ustazah Summayya. To my dismay, she began circling and underlining all my mistakes. And I saw it as i read towards the end of the surah. And I went into a right panic. And when Farah panics, it is not good. She makes matters worst. But I preservered till the end. And I remembered what Ustazah Sumayya said at the start of last week's lesson.

"Being corrected in the reading of Allah's swt book is very hard on the Nafs."

And indeed it is. I do not want to just know how to read. I want to real well, with proper articulations, executions, beautiful and melodious. I want Him to be please with my reading. And I want to understand it. And reading in front of people is even tougher. And one of classmates who incidentally is also my TA, she is so good at reading. With a little bit of flaw, not much, minor flaws but so melodious. I enjoyed hearing her recite the Quran.

My regret is that I did not start from young. A younger heart is so much purer, and a young person's tongue is easier to train. Mum sent me to class, and I played marbles under the block. Oh dear. Forgive me momma! :)

You know, I always gave myself reasons that I am a non native Arabic speaker. And I am 'allowed' to have mispronounciation. But you know what? My teacher is Belgian, his wife is Belgian, my other teacher is Spanish. They are non Arabic speakers as well. But they read so nicely. So wonderfully. Insya Allah, I want to reach there one day. And I urge my little cousins to do the same. Don't wait for tomorrow. Tomorrow might not come.

Having said that, a man has 24hrs in a day. Work 8hrs, sleep 8 hrs, what do we do in the other 8hrs? I ask the question myself. Can't i practice reading the Quran one page a day? When I can spend time in the gym for 2 hours on some days? I am so unfair to my religion. What a shame. It only takes 10 minutes to pray properly. And out of the remaining 8hrs, I can't leave everything behind and just concentrate on my god in that 10 minutes? During prayer, that is when you suddenly remembered you haven't call someone for days, you haven't paid the bills, you havent done your homework. It's crazy.

Think about it people, and I remind myself mostly. What do I actually do to my time?

Tomorrow might never come.

Farah





"Beware of destroying what you built, dispersing what you gathered, eliminating what you gained, regressing after guidance and deteriorating after refining."

flamingbikini - 1:58 PM

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